Control, and what it does to you!

Someone recently told me that his biggest mental frustration was “trying to control things beyond his control.”

Here’s my take on this: Since I believe in partnering with my Inner Spirit, Inner Guru, Spirit Guides or whatever you want to call that power that Guides us, I know that my job is to stay “in the flow” throughout each day.

This means I want to feel the rhythm of each day. Some days I might move faster than on other days, but I know I’m in “a groove” when time just flies by and I’m happily engaged in each activity. I’m not worried that I won’t accomplish what needs to get done.

Rather I trust that everything important will get done.

And I’m not doing my job if I push, get angry, feel my body tense up and say negative things to myself. As soon as I catch myself in this mood, I immediately stop what I’m doing and begin a breathing exercise. It works like a charm. Here it is:

Take a breathe and hold it for 1-2-3-4 counts and then exhale 5-6-7-8-9-10. I repeat this 3, 4 or 5 times until I’ve cleared away those negative thoughts and feel myself relaxing and letting go of tension. By exhaling longer than inhaling, you’ll find that you’ll not only let go of your controlling tension, you’ll also activate that spiritual part of you – the part that’s peaceful, loving and knowing better than you what’s most important to accomplish.

If you think about it, don’t you feel tension as soon as you get into a controlling mode? That’s when tension begins, and that tension will exhaust you every time.

See if you can let go of your control with these three things in mind:

  • Intention to flow with the rhythm of your day.
  • Trust in that flow.
  • When control sets in – stop and do the breathing exercise.

You’ll find that you’ll have more energy throughout the day, you’ll be happier, more relaxed and more content.

Let me know if this helps.


As the poet Rumi said, “Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.”

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